Dear Dog – 5

The Incident
My dear friend Dog,

I was so very pleased to hear from you. I had thought I wouldn’t hear from you again as it had been so long since my last letter to you. You can well imagine my delight when I read your latest letter. (I know I’m not the best letter writer as it sometimes takes me a long time to respond. I’m sorry about that.)

It concerned me when I didn’t hear from you for such a long time, but I figured that you were just enjoying life and had many things (like burying balls and bones) that you needed to do with your humans. It was a lovely thing that fluff did for you, giving you her person’s password so you could get back in touch with me.

I don’t believe I’m familiar with this show “send in the dogs” that you mentioned, but I’m happy that you got to give fluff that gift. And I’m pleased that you’ve read her most of my blog. Please tell her I say hello back.

It thrilled me that the wedding went off so well AND that both you and the ‘fluff’ got to take part. That shows how much your humans think of you. I was pleased to read about your new friendship with the ‘fluff’. I have a feeling that life will be better now that the two of you are friends. It’s also nice to know you won’t have to spend so much “alone time” which can make you very sad if you don’t have anyone you can talk to or play with. Sure, it’s wonderful to play with your human, but they can’t be there all the time. I don’t get too lonely because my mum retired and is always home except for the occasional trips out to the grocery store (to buy food and treats for ME, lol) or to visit her doctor, so I don’t worry about being alone for any long periods of time.

You asked about the seating in the church… why do they call church benches ‘pews’? I know they don’t have a smell cause I asked my Mum. She looked it up and found the actual Google description: Word Origin and History for pew. late 14c., “raised, enclosed seat for certain worshipers” (ladies, important men, etc.), from Old French puie, puy “balcony, elevation,” from Latin podia, plural of podium “elevated place,” also “balcony in a Roman theater”. Mum said this was something she never knew, so it was good you asked Dog. I hope that helps you figure it out.

It sounds like you had a great time mooching off of the guests at the reception. But I hope you could run after eating all those goodies.

I was shocked to read of the attack on the fluff and I was pleased to hear you helped. I must admit that I almost snorted my water out of my nose when I read what you said about the cat making a vertical launch from the middle of the yard and over the fence. We cats ARE athletic and can do amazing things. There are a few of my kind that are not very graceful. I sometimes slip onto the back of Mum’s chair and look over her shoulder at some videos she watches, and she watches some crazy videos about cats AND dogs. Thank you very much for the compliment. We really are an amazing lot, lol. And now you have the Alpha status you wanted. Congratulations!

Now I will tell you about my harrowing experience last month. ‘The Incident’, as Mum refers to it.

She left two plastic shopping bags on the floor beside her chair and I resolved to investigate them. I stuck my head in one, through the handle and when I pulled my head out, the handle was still around my neck. I didn’t know what to do and panicked. I ran around the room because the sound of the plastic was freaking me out. (to this day the sound still freaks me out).

Now by this time, Mum had noticed that I was running around (she said “streaking around the room like a bat of *&$$). She got up to catch me but I was too fast for her. I ended up running into her office but in doing so, I bashed my head on the door frame. That really hurt!

She found me, cowering, in the corner of her office. I was so freaked out by this time I growled and hissed at her. When she tried to grab the bag from around my neck, I freaked out again and struck out at her with my nails.

She didn’t like that and left the office but returned a few moments later with a long stick she used to grab the bag and remove it from me. But I wouldn’t go near her, it freaked me out I was furious with her. So I continued to hiss and growl at her. She left me alone after that and I eventually snuck out of the office and made my way over to the living room windowsill where I jumped up and stayed there for several hours. All this time, if Mum peeked behind the curtains, I would growl and hiss at her. She subsequently got the message, again, and left me alone after that.

I took two days to get over my anger with her and allow her to touch me again. She was apologetic and loving and gave me lots of my treats whenever I asked for them. And most of all, she has promised to never leave shopping bags on the floor, ever again.

I guess that’s about it for now Dog. Sending heartfelt friendship to you and the fluff. Till next time.

Your friend,




One thought on “Dear Dog – 5

  1. dog says:

    dear kitty,

    the incident with the plastic bag sounds absolutely terrible! i don’t particularly like those bags myself, although i must admit, i do love a good paper bag. it doesn’t seem like a very doggy thing to do, but i like trying to crawl inside of them. a paper bag can keep me entertained for quite a while.

    anyway, back to your incident. it sounds like your mum was just trying to help you out. it reminds me of something that happened to me once. actually, it’s how my person met his wife.

    i’m a curious dog, and one of my favorite things to do is go on walks with my person. i like taking in all the sniffs and sounds, and of COURSE barking at squirrels. this one day, i smelled something small and furry nearby, on the other side of a big wooden fence. wanting to preserve the element of surprise (squirrels are hilarious when you startle them with a good, strong bark), i just sniffed along the fence.

    at last, i came to a hole in the fence, but i couldn’t quite see or smell what was back there, so i stuck my head in. sure enough, a squirrel was on the other side, and i let out a tremendous WOOOF. the squirrel jumped about a foot in the air, spazzed, and scrambled up a far tree out of sight and smell. i tell you kitty, your life isn’t quite complete until you watch a squirrel spazz.

    anyway, that’s when i realized my head was actually stuck in the fence. my person must have realized it too because he was going on and on about it behind me. finally, he decided to find the person who owned the fence, who turned out to be his girlfriend…well, his girlfriend LATER. this is when he met her. while they tried to figure out how to free me, fluff came out and started laughing herself sick.

    you know, thinking back, that incident may be why it took so long for fluff to see me as alpha. its hard to accept a dog as alpha when his head is stuck in a fence.

    because the hole was between two planks, they unscrewed them both from the fence so i could get out. as a thank you, my person helped his someday-girlfriend to replace the boards, and then they went out for dinner that night. i stayed at home and watched ‘send in the dogs’ on the computer, of course.

    fluff is yapping at me over here that she had an incident once too, when she managed to dig herself into a big old hole in the backyard when her person was away at work, and she couldn’t get out. the more she tried to dig out, the bigger the hole got. she spent the whole entire day in a hole, and her person had to get her out that night. it must be hard being a little dog.

    back to your incident, kitty, i think you should do something to thank your mum for trying to help you out. i’m sure she felt bad. fluff said her person felt TERRIBLE about the hole incident for days, and gave her lots of doggy biscuits to make up for it, even though it wasn’t her fault at all. fluff also said, when your person offers you biscuits, you just take em and don’t ask questions.

    sorry, getting off topic. anyway, do something nice for her that says you love her, like an unexpected snuggle or something. fluff used to live with a cat, and she said the cat liked to bring her person gifts she had hunted. i don’t think fluff’s person liked the dead mice and lizards, but its the thought that counts. otherwise, you could just give her a big, purrrrrry snuggle. i wish dogs could purr. it sounds like a superpower.

    i usually show my person i love him by barking at anything that comes near the house. i’m sure it makes him feel safe.

    thanks for the etymology on ‘pew’. its good to know where words come from sometimes. and, no, we couldn’t run after the reception. fluff got carried to the car, and i just dragged myself there. it was WORTH IT. vanilla cake is THE BEST. our people didn’t have any chocolate at the reception, just to make sure we didn’t get any of it. chocolate is poison to dogs. its so nice how they think of us like that. just as well anyway, since fluff’s person doesn’t like the stuff either.

    your friend,


    p.s. “fluff” here. i will have to train “dog” on letting me get a woof in edgewise here. when “dog” was not looking, i read the stuff he skipped on your blog. i’m glad he only sat on me. don’t worry, i’m not mad or anything. was thinking a lot about it after the wedding, and i think i was just kinda jealous. it IS hard being a little dog, so we take any advantage we have over big dogs, and “dog” is a german shepherd, which is HUGE. but he’s really nice, and now i feel silly for not giving him a chance before. just wanted to let you know that i’m not mad at all for your advice. you’re a nice friend to him.

    i used to live with a cat, like “dog” said. her name was hermine, and she was very good at catching small furry things. do you ever get to hunt anything bigger than bugs? i try to catch squirrels, but they usually just climb trees, yell, and throw things at me. i used to ask hermine to teach me how to hunt, but she’d just laugh herself sick. why does no one take pomeranians seriously???

    well anyway, i hope YOU can take me seriously. i’d like to be your friend too.


    – eponine (a.k.a. “fluff”)

    Liked by 1 person

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